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I think I'm really going to do it this time.

I popped a Klonopin today at work. It made me feel so tired. It didn't feel good any more. I'll be honest - I take one almost every day. They are prescribed, but sometimes I take them when I don't exactly *need* them. Same with my rx pain pills (though I only have one left). I had spine surgery and had a few stashed away. I also take ambien to sleep. I don't like being dependent on drugs. I don't like the way they make me feel... very tired.

I also drink about 2-3 beers almost every day. I'm really going to try to quit now. Quit it all. I'm taking the klon out of my purse and putting them in the medicine cabinet. I'm going straight edge.

I must be crazy. I don't think I've gone a day without taking SOMETHING (or having a drink) in months if not over a year. I am very scared. I know I am not going to be able to sleep tonight. Sigh. Maybe I should keep on with the ambien until my weekend, that way, if I can't sleep, I can rest the next day.

This is going to be hard as hell. What am I thinking? But I'm at least going to try.


Straight Edge!!!!!!!!
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